The seasons are changing. It was a lovely 3 degrees today. It seems the bitter cold is behind us. We tapped three trees today hoping for a little home made Maple syrup. It’s our first spring in the County and are excited about so many things to come.
As excited as we are, my family enters this season with heavy hearts. This will be our first spring without my mom. She passed away two weeks ago after a long fight with cancer. It took all my politeness not to add numerous expletive adjectives to that word cancer. I know this year will be filled with a long lists of firsts without my mom, and I am not looking forward to any of them. There were so many things we did together, that we will no longer do. It is the first time in my life that I face the world with no parents. It is an odd feeling. I guess it is at this time that one truly grows up.
It is hard to get out of bed in the morning, but I do as I have three young children that are also mourning the loss of their grandma. A good friend gave me some useful advise, as she has experienced a greater loss than mine. She told me to live in the gaps of my grief. Enjoy the moments when it doesn’t hurt so much. Slowly, those gaps will widen over time and getting out of bed will get easier. I have taken that advise, and in between the sadness and the crying there has been laughter, and love, and friendship, and family. It’s just what my mom would of wanted.
For all of those love ones who are sharing my grief or have fresh wounds of their own, I hope you will heed the above advise. I wish you all love and light.